


Steering Clear

by MorningGlory2



Series: Burn Up in Your Atmosphere [5]
Category: Actor RPF, American (US) Actor RPF, Real Person Fiction
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Arguing, Blow Job, Bottom Sebastian Stan, Comfort, Dirty Talk, Dom Chris Evans, Evanstan - Freeform, Fluff, Foreplay, Hurt, M/M, RPF, Sebastian Stan Feels, Sub Sebastian Stan, Top Chris Evans, chris evans feels, chris has a filthy mouth, i'm sorry in advance, seb begs a lot, this was an adventure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-20
Updated: 2018-05-20
Packaged: 2019-05-09 04:56:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14709482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MorningGlory2/pseuds/MorningGlory2
Summary: He hit Chris’ name in his phone and waited. He hadn’t heard back from Chris after his text this morning, so he didn’t think he’d answer. Pacing, hand on his hip over his blue tee shirt, he was growing more angry by the second. And then he answered.“Hey, sorry,” Chris sounded out of breath, “I just got back from a run,” he panted and Sebastian actually had the balls to question whether or not he was lying about that too. “Was just going through my messages...fuck I’m glad I wasn’t in a meeting when you sent that,” he teased. Sebastian could hear the smile in his voice.------Also known as Chris doesn't always make good decisions.





	Steering Clear

**Author's Note:**

> This was an adventure to right. I hope you're prepared for a roller coaster. If you like it, please leave a note. It means everything <3 Thank you to those who have marked kudos, bookmarked and reviewed!!! And thank you to Team Damon for going round and round with me on this! <3

With his movie in pre-production, set to start filming in June in Boston, Sebastian was spending some time in LA getting the character together. There was a lot to gather for this particular part--he was Italian mob, a former hitman. Brutal and relentless. But also an ER doctor now, in witness protection. It was a complex role. And the California sun was helping to make it a little easier.

He missed New York. He missed Chris. But they both knew what it took to do this job. And technology was a very wonderful thing in this day and age.

He and Chris texted every day. They still hadn’t talked about their last time together, the things they’d said. Sebastian couldn’t bring himself to ask for more, to ask why they couldn’t be more because he didn’t want to be let down. And he was the closest, physically, to Chris he’d been. He wasn’t ready to lose that. When the time came, they’d talk. For now, it was the very last thing he wanted to do. Losing Chris would be utterly unbearable.

But that didn’t mean he couldn’t play up their physical relationship. And boy did he. He was taunted by fantasies, by dreams of them. In the best way of course. Chris had a way around his body that Sebastian had never experienced. No one treated him the way Chris did. The man worshiped him, but also played up a part that Sebastian had never experienced.

Sebastian didn’t handle criticism well from the people close to him. Chris was never hard on him, while he was firm, he carried a tender hand. It was something Sebastian was greatly appreciative of, in and out of the bedroom. And the praise...just the thought made his skin tingle as he sat on the lounge chair by the refreshing pool at the apartment complex he was currently short-term renting at. It was easier than paying for a hotel and made it feel a little more like home.

Chris praised him. He couldn’t get enough of it, the way he spoke and the words he used. It was oxygen for Sebastian. In a world where he was constantly criticized, where he was torn apart by media, press, fans, he had Chris. Chris filled his sails with the sweetest words. And sometimes that made up for the things he didn’t say. The things he longed for Chris to say. Things he questioned whether they would ever discuss.

Sebastian was already knee deep in his adoration for Chris. More than knee deep if he allowed himself to truly assess where he was at. It was unnerving. They’d been close for so long, so many years. And even after the first time together, Sebastian had been able to move on and pursue other things. Now, however, it seemed that things had greatly changed. At least for him. Chris was a harder read.

Their last time together had been glorious. Sebastian had been fucked so thoroughly. There was something completely different in his experiences with Chris than any woman he’d ever been with. Not only to be on the receiving end in such a way but the sensations alone. He’d never played with himself, never experimented before Chris. And having Chris inside him… it was beyond addictive. He wished he could have it more. The plug was not nearly enough. But it worked for their play and for preparing himself for Chris and it lent itself to an enticing desire to be filled, stretched, and awaiting their playtime. It had been way too long since their last encounter.

Settling back into the chair, he picked up his phone. He hadn’t heard from Chris that morning, which wasn’t necessarily abnormal but he was missing him. Opening his messages he grinned as he took a picture of his long legs and the crystal clear water. He finished it with the caption _“Wish you were here.”_

He set his phone down and picked his script backup, only to find a quick reply right back.

_Where are you?_

Sebastian chuckled. He knew where the fuck he was.

_Poolside in LA. Where does it look like I am?_

_Maybe at a resort in Fiji._

_Like I’d go to Fiji without you. I couldn’t be that far away from you cock._

_God you’re filthy. Isn’t it a bit early for that?_

_I believe the last time we were together you rolled me over and fucked me senseless at 5am. It’s 10am here now. You’re 5 hours behind in your filthiness._

_If I was there, I’d punish you for your sass._

_Fuck. Please._

_Patience. I’m sure we’ll be able to arrange that soon._

Sebastian sighed and shifted in his chair as his cock filled with heat. Damn their jobs sometimes. He was thoughtful for a long moment as he sat in the hot sun staring at his phone. He wanted so badly to hop a plane and head back to NYC but he knew it wasn’t in the cards yet. A couple more weeks. He’d have to deal with sexting and facetiming until then.

Dammit. When did he become so needy?

He knew it was about more than just sex but...he wasn't going to press Chris. Not yet anyway.

_Tell me what you’d do to me. Please sir._

Xxxxxxx

Chris tossed his phone down. He was spent, another miniature session with Sebastian fueling another midmorning release. The man was rapacious. But if he was honest, so was he. There was an even playing field, an addiction, a comfort level with Sebastian. And the man let him handle him in a way Chris hadn’t handled a man before.

Needing a shower now, Chris forced himself off the bed and to the comfortable bathroom of his LA home. He’d been in town for three days so far and with every step guilt tore at him that he’d managed to somehow leave that small tidbit out of every conversation he’d had with Sebastian. They hadn’t facetimed since he’d been in LA, Chris had kept it strictly to texting and calls to avoid the conversation.

_Why?_ Truth was he didn’t know. He was having a hard time figuring that out himself. He left in five days. He was determined to make it those five days flying under the radar. As much as he so badly wanted to see Sebastian again--and he did, badly--he was still sorting through the emotions he carried from their last encounter. Emotions he wasn’t ready for, that he really couldn’t do anything about. Despite how he felt, if he allowed himself to feel, which he didn’t, he knew they couldn’t be together. That was just asking for a mess. He couldn’t even begin to figure out how to maneuver through this and his real feelings for Sebastian. Once the press or the fans caught wind of what was really happening…

Chris craved his privacy. Despite his fame, he didn’t want to make a huge display out of his life. He liked having important things only to himself. And this was one of them. If he could only figure out how to keep it for himself and how to let Sebastian in without this all blowing up in his face.

The attraction had been there from the beginning. Those first few times they’d messed around, too many drinks later, it had all been in fun. After opening night of the play though, things took and turn. Then after Sebastian’s reappearance after the premiere, things seemed to only slip deeper for them into uncharted emotional territory. He found himself talking to Sebastian before bed, texting him when he woke up. It was constant. Sebastian had cemented himself into his life, regardless of the movies and their distance. Which wasn’t very distant at the moment but Chris was refusing to think about that at the moment. The guilt was heavy. But again, he pushed it away.

Slipping into the bathroom to shower and get ready for a meeting in Studio City, he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and sighed for the umpteenth time with relief.

The mustache was gone. He’d gotten through it and it had even grown on him some, but it was gone. He missed the anonymity that came with it, sure. In New York he could walk the streets away from the theater and no one approached him. Hat low, it was all him, all alone. Now that he was clean-shaved, albeit with a firm five o’clock shadow, he was himself again. And with that suddenly came the fame all over again.

Flipping on the shower he contemplated a shave but thought better of it. He’d get his beard back. And the meeting didn’t call for it. It was casual to discuss some Marvel business for _Avengers 4_. In and out, he hoped. Then he’d read a couple scripts, head back east in a few days. And hopefully avoid putting his heart on his sleeve. At least until he was ready.

That damn guilt came back as his phone chimed loudly from the bed. Ignoring it, he went for the shower, cleaning himself up and mentally planning his day. After he went back east it was time for a break. He couldn’t wait.

xxxxxx

Two days later found Sebastian in a meeting with his agent, discussing options for a role. He was fidgety, waiting for a reply from Chris that was coming slower than usual. A strategically shot photo before he’d left the apartment and still no reply.

“Seb, you there?” His agent asked, reading over a few documents, marking where he needed Sebastian to sign.

“Hm?” Sebastian perked up, looking at his agent with distanced eyes. “Yeah, sorry. Lost in thought,” he chuckled. It was something he did often—get lost in his own head.

“Hey, saw your buddy Chris yesterday,” the man spoke casually, lifting his brows the way someone does when they have forgotten to mention something.

Sebastian dragged his eyes quickly up from his phone, “Chris?” Surely he meant someone else, not Evans…

“Evans. Captain America. Getting coffee at that Starbucks on Sunset. Nice guy,” his agent went on talking but Sebastian’s brain stopped processing anything that left the man’s mouth. Saw him yesterday. In LA? _...the fuck?!_

“You’re sure it was him?” Seb tried to act nonchalant but the room suddenly felt uncomfortable and his stomach had already dropped into his shoes.

“Oh yeah. We talked a minute. He bought my coffee.”

Sebastian ran a hand over his mouth, rubbing the scruff on his cheek a few times. “Huh.”

He wanted to text Chris right now, ask him why he was in LA, accuse him of lying and all the awful things running through his mind. They’d talked until midnight for Sebastian and Chris had said he didn’t have to get up early today, that was why he could. But 4am? Now he realized he had probably been duped.

Chris had lied. He’d been in town yesterday. How long had he been in town? Suddenly Sebastian felt sick. And furious.

“Hey I gotta call my mom back. I’m just gonna—“ he started to stand as the agent waved him off.

“Yeah. Go ‘head.”

Sebastian walked out into the sunshine, looking around as he stalked toward the shade a few trees. He had to see, had to call to make sure. Maybe it wasn’t Chris. Maybe…

He hit Chris’ name in his phone and waited. He hadn’t heard back from Chris after his text this morning, so he didn’t think he’d answer. Pacing, hand on his hip over his blue tee shirt, he was growing more angry by the second. And then he answered.

“Hey, sorry,” Chris sounded out of breath, “I just got back from a run,” he panted and Sebastian actually had the balls to question whether or not he was lying about that too. “Was just going through my messages...fuck I’m glad I wasn’t in a meeting when you sent that,” he teased. Sebastian could hear the smile in his voice.

Taking a breath, he pushed a smile to his own lips, knowing Chris would hear the change if he didn’t. “Well now you’re sweaty, you can take that visual to the shower with you,” Sebastian teased in reply easily. Chris laughed.

“I’m already hard, Seb,” he muttered in that low tone Sebastian couldn’t resist. Damn him.

“Now who’s insatiable?” He forced a chuckle and rubbed his forehead. “Where’d you go for a run?”

There was a minute pause but nothing Sebastian would have caught had he not known to listen for it. “Five miles, round the block. Saw Carly on the way back.”

Carly doesn’t live in LA, Sebastian wanted to scream. Instead he just nodded as if Chris could see him. “That’s a good run.”

“Trying to keep it up,” he laughed and Sebastian had to question why Chris found it so easy to lie to him. “You home tonight?”

“Yeah, you?” Sebastian replied immediately.

“Yeah. Staying in for the game. I’ll call you? Like usual?”

Sebastian leaned his arm on the tree and leaned his face into it. “Yeah, that sounds good.” His tone was lackluster and Chris caught it immediately.

“Hey, you okay?” He asked as if he genuinely cared, the heaviness in his tone leading Sebastian on. Bastard.

“Yeah, Yeah. Just been in meetings all day. Tired. Someone kept me up late.”

“You were up late? I was up until 4am getting your sexy ass off.”

Sebastian closed his eyes, an ache he couldn’t describe growing in his chest. “Guess you win,” he replied with an empty laugh.

“Shush. I’ll call you tonight. Get a coffee or something, you sound like you need a pick me up.”

*Why don’t you bring me one, fucker?* Sebastian wanted to spit out, but he refrained, an idea already blooming in his brain. “Yeah, I’ll do that. Think of me in the shower,” was off his tongue before he could stop it.

“Fuck, baby. I’m already jerking myself. Bye Seb.”

Sebastian groaned, knew it could be played for a desirable one. “Bye Chris.”

He hit end and squeezed the phone tightly in his fist. This was fucked up. Chris had lied. Willingly. They’d talked every day, more than once. And Chris knew Sebastian was in LA too. It wasn’t fair. He had to know why.

And he’d find out tonight.

 

Xxxxxxx

 

“Dammit, Benintendi! Come on dude!” Chris yelled over his beer at the missed hit, slouched on his couch as he watched the game play out on the large screen. The Red Sox were down two in the third and it was getting tight. Chris ran a hand over his buzzed head, the hair now reminiscent of the press tour he’d done for Avengers all those years ago.

It had been the easiest way to get rid of the fluffy brush cut. Mixed with his growing beard, he felt much more like himself physically. And with no real roles to prepare for at the moment, he could get back down to just feeling normal.

He finished the last sip of his second Stella Artois and stood to grab another. He missed Dodger’s company, the dog having stayed back in New England for the short trip, knew if he were here he’d be darting around playfully at Chris’ feet. He sighed with a smile, knew he’d be back to the little guy in no time.

He checked the clock. He’d anticipated hearing from Sebastian by now but he hadn’t. Not all day actually, since their phone call. He’d texted him a few times with no reply. It let loose an uneasy feeling in his belly but he pushed it away. Three more days and he’d be gone. And then he wouldn’t be lying anymore.

Popping the top off the beer, he surveyed the kitchen for a snack. Maybe he could order in. He tried to think of anything other than Sebastian. His face, his smile, the way he made his heart sing. His laughter. And by God, his body. Chris was having a hard time with the lying but once he’d started he couldn’t stop. He didn’t want to hurt Sebastian in any way, and keeping him at arms length seemed like the only way to prevent that at the moment. In his mind, that was the best way for both of them to figure out what they were doing and if it should continue.

Knocking back almost half the beer in an attempt to move his thoughts along, a knock on his front door startled him. Chris’ arm paused mid descent. Glancing at the clock, it was almost eight thirty. He hadn’t ordered any food, and even then the service needed the gate code. Maybe it was Scott? They hadn’t talked about hanging out but family could come and go as they pleased. It was just strange he hadn’t called first.

With a shrug he headed for the door, beer in hand and the game forgotten for a brief moment.

He saw his arm first, on the door frame. Leaning, head tucked down. His feet stopped him as panic rose in his throat. He...he hadn’t told him. He’d lied. _Lied_  to prevent this. Sebastian wouldn’t be here if he didn’t know.

“ _Fuck_ ,” he ground out the word as guilt and panic hit him full force in the chest. He couldn’t not answer the door. Not when his television was on and his house was lit up like Christmas. And then what was he supposed to do? Lie some more? He closed his eyes for the briefest of moments and then trudged to the door, every step making him regret every decision he’d made to lie to his best friend, the man he…

Chris pulled open the door and the men just stared at each other for a moment. Chris brows were already pinched in shame but Sebastian’s sarcastic laugh made it so much worse.

“Hey Chris,” Sebastian stood up straight and cocked his head with an angry smile pulling at his lips. Chris knew the look. It was the fact he’d just confirmed whatever Sebastian had in his head. The _lie_  he’d given him. Sebastian nodded curtly as he dropped his eyes.

“How long have you known?” Chris started, immediately wishing he could pull the words back. He pursed his lips and gave a shake of his head, “I mean how did—“

“How’d I find out?” Sebastian’s eyebrows shot up and he wobbled a little. Chris went so far to silently wonder if he’d been drinking. Shit. “If that’s what you’re gonna ask next, how’d I find out? Well, you got coffee yesterday. With my agent. If you’re gonna lie, you need to do a better job of hiding yourself.” Sebastian’s words and expression were nothing short of scolding and it hit its mark. Chris shrank under Sebastian’s infuriated gaze.

“Sebastian, I’m—“

“What? You’re what? Sorry? Sorry you’ve been lying to be for a fucking week? How long have you been here, Chris? Longer than that? Cause dammit you have some balls. Were you seeing someone here? Is that—“

“Jesus, no,” Chris shushed Sebastian’s fast-paced rambling as he moved to grab his hand and pull him inside so the whole neighborhood didn’t hear the words Sebastian was starting to shout. Sebastian yanked his hand away with a look of indignant warning. “Come in please, let’s not do this here,” Chris’ words were pleading, his tone soft and strained.

Sebastian laughed with exasperation and looked around. “What? You don’t want anyone to know how much you just fucked up? Because I—“

“Sebastian, please,” Chris’ tone stayed the same but there was _begging_ in place now.

Sebastian glared at him as he stalked past him into the house. His steps, his exaggerated motion told Chris he’d had a few before deciding to do this. It wouldn’t make it any easier. He shut the door and took a moment to find his own calm, pushing away the growing lump in is throat.

Sebastian slipped his hands in his pockets as he mosied around the house. Chris wasn’t really sure how to proceed, walking up behind him slowly as he tried to figure out what to say. He was sure none of this would make sense.

“Seb, I’m sorry. I wasn’t lying to hurt you.”

“No?” Seb cocked his head as he spun on his heel to face Chris, now standing in the large living room. Chris turned the television off. He’d catch the highlights later. Sebastian was much more important.

“No I wasn’t. I lied because…,” he rubbed the back of his neck, cheeks flushed. Sebastian waited, eyebrows raised in curiosity. “I lied because I don’t know how to do this,” he finally huffed out.

Sebastian laughed, but it was sharp and Chris closed his eyes. “Don’t know how to what, exactly? Fuck me? Be with me? See my face? I’m confused because you had zero problem flying out here to see me over a month ago because I was HOLDING HANDS with a woman. Now we’re in the same city and you can’t look at me? Chris, I’m not sure exactly what’s going on but you’re making zero sense.”

Chris chewed his lip and sighed heavily. “I know. It doesn’t make any sense,” he made a noise of frustration and rubbed his face. “I don’t know what to do about you. Where we stand. My emotions are all over the place.”

Sebastian listened, though the heat in his eyes and his rigid demeanor never eased. “Don’t you think I’m in the same boat? Why don’t you just talk to me instead of lying about it?”

“Because I don’t know how to talk about it, I don’t know what I feel,” Chris downed the rest of his Stella and headed for the bar, grabbing a glass. “Want a drink for this? I need one.”

Sebastian thought about that suggestion for a long moment. Chris peered over his shoulder as he finished pouring himself a bourbon, pouring Sebastian one without waiting for the answer. Sebastian hated him a little bit for reading his mind. He took the drink from Chris’ hand when offered, albeit angrily.

“How do you not know what you feel? When we’re together, when we talk, it’s real. Why lie?” While Sebastian appreciated the sentiments, he needed to know about the _lies_. That’s what hurt the most.

“Because I just needed to try to get through this. And when I’m with you it makes it so much fuckin’ harder to think straight,” Chris scrubbed a hand over his face and leaned back against the kitchen counter. He suddenly felt exhausted. He’d been smashing his emotions down for so long now. It was becoming unbearable.

“That’s part of why this works, Chris,” Sebastian urged him, pacing a little. “I know you’re an over thinker, I know you get lost in your head. I know YOU. You’re no good at choosing the right person right now. I watched you date all those girls,” Sebastian stopped in front of him, his eyes pleading now. “I know how to get you to let go. Please Chris. Please. Tell me why you lied and let me help you through this.”

Chris lifted his eyes to Sebastian’s and felt a piece of him break. “I lied because I needed to figure out how to be without you. When we’re together I..I just want to be together. And when we’re not it’s...hard to convince myself this will work. I want it to work, Seb. Badly. I want a family, I want marriage, I want a lot of things. And when we’re together I—“ he cut himself off, dropping his eyes away. Sebastian was hanging on every word, dying for the rest of that sentence.

“You what? You what, Chris?” Sebastian asked quietly, reaching for Chris’ elbow, urging him to make eye contact with him.

Chris struggled, didn’t want to look up because he knew,  _he knew,_  if he did he’d never be able to come back from what he was about to say. But the softness to Sebastian’s voice betrayed him and he found himself looking up and locking eyes with the man he knew now that he cared for more than he could admit out loud. “I see all those things, Seb. I lied to protect ourselves. Because when I’m with you, I can’t see anything else and one of these days, that’s gonna hurt us both.”

He was concrete in his reply as he held Sebastian gaze, unwavering. He watched as Sebastian processed the words, heavy words for two men who hadn’t even said the big three yet.

“Why does it have to hurt?” Sebastian asked as he set his drink down behind Chris and stepped closer, straddling Chris’s long legs as they stretched out from where he leaned. “Why do we have to get hurt? Not everyone in love gets hurt.”

“In my experience, they do,” Chris replied almost bitterly, though he didn’t move as Sebastian took him glass too and set it aside.

“You haven’t loved the right person yet, then,” Sebastian murmured, letting his fingers run over Chris’ stubbled jaw.

“Who says you’re that person?” Sebastian could see Chris’ resolve cracking. He slid a finger under Chris’ jaw, tilting it up gently. With the way Chris was leaning, Sebastian had a few inches on him. It was intoxicating to have the upper hand, if just for a moment.

“I do,” Sebastian replied with utter confidence, ghosting his lips over Chris’. Chris had still lied, nothing changed that. But he understood now at least. And the nearness of Chris was soothing his angry heart minute by minute.

Chris followed his lips, knowing full well that this was no reward for what he had done. He has hurt the one person who meant everything to him, no matter how much he tried to deny it. It weighed heavily on him as let Sebastian kiss him again. His hands moved on their own to settle on the man’s waist, feeling the taut muscles under the soft fabric of his shirt. “I still lied,” he muttered into his lips.

Sebastian pulled away a small fraction, their lips still close enough to touch, “Yeah but I think I understand why. And I’m telling you, we’re good for each other. I swear.”

Chris lifted his eyes to Sebastian’s again, searching his face. “Why are you being nice to me?”

“Because I..,” he trailed off, stopping himself before recovering, almost having let words slip out he was no ready for. “Because I need you.” Now that was a fair statement, and one that was entirely true.

“That’s not a good enough reason to forgive me,” Chris argued, letting his fingers toy with the hem of Sebastian’s shirt, letting his fingers graze the skin underneath.

“Why don’t you let me be the judge of that?” Sebastian argued softly, running his hands over Chris’ buzzed head. “Besides, I’m aching to feel this scruff again,” he added playfully, “you look so fucking different without that mustache and silly hair.”

Chris scoffed a laugh, “Better?”

“So much better,” he murmured before stealing a small kiss, “though I’m not complaining, I didn’t mind the mustache. The hair though…”

Chris was burying the guilt and he’d later blame Sebastian’s charm on the fact he let this happen at all. “Did you come here to fuck me?” he asked with a slight grin. Sebastian laughed out.

“Absolutely not. I came here to fuckin’ cuss you out and leave. But as soon as I saw you…”

“You know this isn’t healthy right? You should be wanting to leave or hate fuck me,” Chris stated while his hands gripped Sebastian with a new need, a fear the man would in fact walk out.

“I can pretend if you want. I’m a decent actor, I can play the role, hate fuck you if that’s what you want, need from me,” Sebastian hummed quietly, taking a small step closer to Chris, his erection almost pressed to the man’s stomach. Truth was he’d been hard since the first graze of their lips. It took nothing for Chris to work him up.

Presented with such an option, knowing where this was leading, Chris was torn terribly. He should make Sebastian leave, he should know better than to do this with him. But then somehow it seemed like this made it better. Maybe if they were together, if Sebastian stayed the night, maybe this would make it feel alright. He craved the security he felt with him, that gentle sense of calming. Sebastian was a balm to his uneasy and anxious soul. Being with him like this would only help him. But would it help Sebastian?

“Pretend? You wanna pretend to hate me? Wanna ride my cock with all the anger you showed up here with?” Chris couldn’t help the words as they slipped off his tongue, letting his hands slide up under Sebastian’s shirt to his back. He dragged his nails down his skin, making Sebastian gasp.

“God, Chris,” Sebastian whined softly, pressing himself into Chris now. Chris grinned at the feeling of his length, the way the hardness hit his solid stomach made his own rise rapidly.

  
“Do you? Is that what you want, baby boy?”

Sebastian bucked his hips into Chris, scraping his own fingers down Chris’ scalp. “Fuck,” he breathed. “I...I don’t know...just want…”

“What do you want, handsome? Want me to bend you over right here? Want me to lay you out on this floor, suck you until you can’t stand it, then make you come as I fuck your ass?”

Sebastian’s head fell back, giving Chris the perfect opportunity to stretch and devour his neck. So much in the back of his brain told him to stop, to make sure Sebastian truly understood where he was coming from, that this wasn’t Sebastian problem, that this was a him problem, but he couldn’t. Sebastian was a grown man and something about the two of them in the same room set off sparks. Chris couldn’t contain it. He’d had a hard time before but now…

Chris changed the dynamic quickly then, once every ounce of him was in this. He pushed Sebastian up and back, turning him to press him to the wall next to the bar. It seemed one of them always had the other against something. It made chuckle into Sebastian’s mouth as he groaned.

Sebastian let his hands slide up under Chris’ shirt, begging for it to be removed. Chris held off though, wanting to torture the man, see how far he could push him. Maybe he’d get a little of that feistiness back.

“Chris,” the man moaned, grasping and pulling, hands constanting grabbing at whatever they could. Chris grabbed his wrists and pinned them above his head, pressing their bodies together, rubbing their jeaned lengths against one another, the friction heating them up rapidly.

“You do realize you showed up here uninvited right?” Chris went on to push the issue, dragging his teeth across Sebastian’s jaw. “Took me away from my game, intruded on my night alone, made me fucking want you. Pictures of my dick aren’t good enough for ya?”

Sebastian pushed against him, huffing with frustration, but he reacted just as Chris wanted. “Fuck you, you’re the one who lied, the one who hurt  _my_ feelings. I can show up when I’m hurt, I own that right.”

“Did I hurt you, baby boy?” Chris murmured, leaning back just enough for Sebastian to see his sinister smile.

“Chris…,” Sebastian mewled through gritted teeth, “You know you did,” his brain was addled with need and he was so open, so vulnerable to the man before him he couldn’t stop the words from tumbling out, “Hearing you’d been here, and I didn’t know…. _it hurt_.”

Sebastian blinked and for a minute Chris wondered if Sebastian had tears. It ripped at his heart for a moment. “Baby boy, I’m sorry,” he murmured sweetly and with utter sincerity. Sebastian blinked again.

“Don’t fuckin’ apologize,” Sebastain ground out, bucking his hips against him. “Don’t give me more bullshit words,” for a moment Chris had to back off just slightly, trying to determine whether Sebastian was actually upset or if he was indeed playing the role he’d mentioned just moments ago. And to Sebastian’s credit, Chris couldn’t tell. “Just fuck me. I know you want to, I know you always want that.”

“There hasn’t been anyone else, I swear,” Chris promised as his hands grasped Sebastian’s, still pushed against the wall, restraining the man. But now their fingers were woven together and somehow that made Chris’ heart a little more whole.

“There better not be. I don’t want to hate you,” he whispered, as if the words pained him. Chris flinched.

“I don’t want you to hate me either,” Chris urged quietly before leaning in and kissing Sebastian with everything he had inside him, every piece of affection he could ever showed. The man melted into him, hands squeezing his as they kissed frantically against the wall in Chris’ kitchen like two lovers would.

Sebastian was willing and pliable in the kiss, which assured him he wanted this. The last thing Chris wanted under any circumstances was to put Sebastian in something he didn’t want to be a part of. But the man was holding his hands in a vice-like grip, pushing against him for friction and moaning so perfectly into his mouth he KNEW he wanted this.

Chris broke away when he could no longer breathe, dropping to his knees immediately. He nuzzled the bulge in Sebastian’s white jeans and the man shook, huffing sharply. “Oh God Chris, don’t tease me, please…”

Chris had a wise remark on his tongue about that morning but he held it in. He didn’t want to cheapen this moment with playful shots. He needed to make sure Sebastian knew this was his number one priority no matter how needy the man was all day every day. And who was he to tease him? Chris was also in dire need for Sebastian most of the time.

Chris slipped his hands away to work on the black belt, undoing it and sliding down the zipper. He pushed the pants down to mid thigh and made a moan of appreciation as Sebastian’s cock hung out in front of him, wet and red. “Want me to suck you, sweetheart?” Chris murmured with his big blue eyes focused up on Sebastian. The man’s lips were parted so beautifully, his gaze completely focused on the man on his knees.

“Yes, yes sir, please suck me,” he begged, his hands diving gently onto Chris’ soft hair. Chris grinned and took the chance to dip and run his tongue alone Sebastian’s balls. The sharp inhale made him tingle. “Or that...that works too,” he muttered, fingers digging into Chris’ head. He didn’t mind. Not at all.

Chris took his time and Sebastian savored it. He caught Chris’ stolen glances as he licked him base to tip and back. It was almost too much and then Chris’ mouth engulfed him and he shuddered so hard from the feeling he had to steady his palms on the wall to keep from curling over Chris. Small words fell from Sebastian’s lips, a jumble of “please” and “oh god” and “more”.

Chris gave him everything he needed. Chris took him deep into his throat and swallowed around his tip roughly before pulling off and then slipping back down to do it again. White hot heat took over Sebastian’s body and suddenly he was sweating, though barely aware. He pressed his back to the wall and watched as Chris devoured him, felt it in his soul. The man took in every inch of him until he has his nose buried against the soft hair at the base of his cock, making Sebastian moan so loud and so inappropriately, he was sure nothing like that had ever come from his own mouth before. He shook as his body broke out in goosebumps until Chris pulled off seconds later, stroking him firmly in hand. Sebastian whimpered but when he glanced at Chris, he knew this wasn’t over for him.

“Use your words, baby boy. What do you need?” Chris asked softly, all commanding but all sweetness as he stared up at Sebastian. And while Sebastian wanted to make Chris pay for the lies, to make him suck him until he came and then leave. It crossed his mind and it made him a little sick. Was he capable of that? Was this what they’d become?

No.

Not it wasn’t.

Not yet anyway.

And Sebastian was determined not to let that happen if it was the last thing he did. He didn’t want to be that guy. And he cared too much about the man staring up at him with his soul wide open to demand such a selfish thing.

“Take me to bed,” he murmured the honest desire, running his longer fingers over Chris’ head. “Take me to bed, please, sir,” he repeated, pulling Chris up by his tee shirt gently into a heated kiss. Chris hand stayed firm on his cock and they kissed, sweet and needy. The long stroke of his palm made him shake with every one but Sebastian wasn’t deterred. He’d hold back. He was practiced at this. Just for Chris.

Unlike the last times they’d been together, Sebastian hadn’t prepared himself this time. He’d come over so angry and so hurt that he hadn’t even anticipated they’d fall into bed together. It had been since the last time since he’d….

“Come, handsome,” Chris replied with all ease and want of the man Sebastian knew so well. Chris let go of his cock and pulled his jeans up over his ass, not bothering to button them as he pulled Sebastian by the hand toward his bedroom, lacing their fingers together once more.

The television and the game were forgotten. He left the lights on. None of it mattered to him, he wanted Sebastian laid out in front of him in every which direction so he could remind him just how much he cared, just how much he could please him. Just how hard he could make him come. Just how much he lo--

Chris cut his own thoughts out as he pulled Sebastian into his immaculate bedroom. He didn’t bother with lights, the moon shining in through the open windows. It was enough to illuminate the man in front of him and to make him glow like a gift.

Chris pulled him up in front of the bed, taking a moment to pull him close and caress his cheekbone with his thumb, his other arm wrapped tightly around his waist. He wasn’t letting the man get away. “I’m so sorry, Seb,” Chris spoke quietly, eyes entirely focused on Sebastian’s so the man would know how sincere he was. He was torn between following through with this and stopping it all together, if only for the fact he felt so terrible about his lies. “I won’t lie again,” he implored Sebastian to believe him, begging with his eyes, with the way he cupped Sebastian and held him close.

Sebastian stayed silent and Chris watched hurt pass across his expression. He gripped Chris’ back hard, fingers gripping him through his shirt. “I care about you, Chris.”

Chris hadn’t been expecting the confession, but his heart exploded in his chest. “I know you do. I care about you,’ Chris assured him, though he knew that wasn’t where Sebastian was intending this conversation to go. Chris braced himself as Sebastian opened his mouth again.

“No, I care about you, Chris. This is real. I’m real. I want you. I want more than just your bed, more than just your mouth on my cock. I want more than you inside me. I want...I want…” he seemed to run out of steam as he watched emotions fly over Chris’ face. Surprise, sweetness and a smidge of panic.

“Me too,” Chris replied calmly, despite his racing heart. “I want you so badly. I care about you so much, Seb.”

There. He finally let some of himself show. And Sebastian ate it up. He came to life in Chris’ arms, grabbing at him tighter, pulling their bodies together as though they could actually be any closer. Toe to toe, eye to eye, they held each other in the moonlight that streamed across Chris’ Los Angeles bedroom, trying to decipher what would happen next for them.

Sebastian didn’t push it, didn’t ask for more, even though Chris could see he wanted to. And he didn’t blame him because he knew that the conversation could easily take a turn and they might not get what stood before them. And to their credit or demise, neither was willing to give this up just yet. So Sebastian took what Chris willingly gave him and in response kissed him feverishly. Chris gladly met the kisses with his own and cupped the back of Sebastian’s head, angling the kiss to something a little more filthy, a little more needy than what they’d exchanged previously. For all the emotion that bubbled inside Chris over this man, he was still who he was and that was a desperate man who craved the man in front of him.

Sebastian took Chris’ words to heart and basked in his kisses. He could feel the chills, tingles that attacked every nerve of his body. He was at the mercy of this man, wanted nothing more for the rest of his life he’d already decided. But if he couldn’t share that then he wouldn’t. He’d hold it in until the time was right, or forever. He was a fan of putting himself out there--did it on a daily basis for his job. But when it came to possibly losing Chris, to possibly destroying his heart in the process? He would take that to the grave if need be.

Despite their rushed kisses, Chris took his time removing Sebastian’s clothing. He pulled the shirt over his head effortlessly, only parting their lips to remove the fabric. Then they were kissing again as Sebastian’s hands moved to the buttons on Chris’ shirt, working them without having to see them, one after the next until he was able to push it over his shoulders. It landed in a pile but neither man cared about their clothing, they only cared about getting their bodies as close as humanly possible, as quick as possible. As soon as their bare chests touched, it was fire.

Chris tried to rein himself in. He wanted to move this slower for Sebastian, didn’t want Sebastian to think this was just a fuck. But he was making it awful hard, the way his hands gripped Chris’ back, the way he pushed against him, the way he moaned. Chris was on thin ice with his self-control.

He pushed Sebastian to sit on the bed, dropped to his knees between his parted thighs. “Tell me you want this,” he requested gently, looking up with those green-blue eyes he knew now Sebastian couldn’t resist.

Sebastian ran a hand over Chris’ head and nodded eagerly, “It’s all I want. Please Chris. Make love to me.”

The request went straight to Chris’ heart and broke him a little. Make love. It was such a powerful request, such a sweet want and Chris wasn’t sure he could deliver. He was trying to hard to keep himself quartered off. And this just wasn’t working. He wanted Sebastian so so badly. In every way.

“You got it, baby boy,” he whispered, leaning up to press their lips together. Sebastian moaned into the kiss and grasped at Chris, pulling him up and back onto the bed, Chris crawling up his body to keep their lips together. Neither man was ready to part. Not now. Not soon.

It was a fumbled mess of shedding their pants, laughter rising from them in the best way. Chris had never felt as comfortable with anyone as he didn’t in these moments with Sebastian. They were on an even playing field. They knew each other inside and outside the bedroom. There was no need for self-consciousness and fakeness. This was all them, all real.

Their giggles subsided as they finally lay naked together, taking a moment to touch and gaze. Chris ran his fingers through Sebastian’s fluffy hair, the length growing back and making him want to pull it deliciously. Sebastian moved his head into Chris’ grip like an attention hungry kitten, chasing the touch with true earnest.

Sebastian made the first move, kissing Chris slow. It was gentle, sweet and innocent as they fell back into their rhythm. Chris drew their bodies together, their lengths touching and rubbing as the distance closed until they were pressed together. The sudden hunger came back tenfold and suddenly neither man could wait.

Chris pushed Sebastian around just the way he liked it, rolling him to face away. Sebastian listened, his body doing easily as it was told until they were back to chest, Chris’ broadness engulfing Sebastian. Reaching into the drawer, the warming lube was a pleasant change to their usual, something he preferred on himself when he was alone. He rolled it around between his fingers as Sebastian writhed back against him, chasing friction. He could see Sebastian’s right shoulder moving just slightly and knew in the dark that the man was touching himself. It just made him ache deeper to be inside him.

Two fingers slipped down his ass, coating the tight muscle in a generous amount of slick. Sebastian’s breath hitched and Chris groaned into the crook of his neck. He kissed all along the exposed skin, words ceasing only momentarily as he let himself get reacquainted with the man who haunted his every dream. Sebastian rolled his head into the firm pillows, trying to give Chris more room to kiss.

Chris couldn’t stop himself, sucking harsh marks into the sweet skin as one finger slipped inside. It wasn’t that Sebastian was necessarily looser, but his body was learning to accept the intrusions easier, as was Sebastian’s mind. He welcomed the touch and Chris listened with happy ears as Sebastian breathlessly moaned beneath his fingers. With every stroke his body relaxed, taking the finger easier until it became two and Sebastian was groaning louder now into the pillow.

“Let me hear you, handsome,” Chris murmured hotly against his ear, opening him up a little quicker than usual but no less intensely. Sebastian welcomed the change, his body already shiny with exertion and desire, his hips thrusting back to ride his hand with a distinct want. Chris couldn’t deny him, even though the part of his brain that had been active all week was screaming to stop, for they were getting too close to the emotional point of no return.

Chris pulled his fingers away and hushed the voices in his mind, taking himself in hand and slicking himself up. “I bet you’ve been thinking about this, haven’t you? Always thinking about me inside you, filling you so full you can’t think,” he nibbled on his ear as he lined himself up, teasing Sebastian with slow rubs to his hole.

Sebastian’s breathing picked up, his chest flaring with a desire that wouldn’t be contained. “Every day, every night, it’s all I want, to be close to you, for you to be inside me,” the words rushed out, so sweetly said it made Chris’ heart hurt. “Chris, I...I just care so much—“ Chris silenced him then with another kiss, unable to hear anymore. He couldn’t bear it. Not yet, not now. Not tonight after he’d been so utterly horrible to the man of his dreams.

He chose that moment to shift gears and slip inside Sebastian with a slow but powerful thrust. His mouth fell open into the kiss, their breath mingling in the silent moment as Sebastian adjusted to the unexpected intrusion. He was a little tighter and it took Chris a full minute to keep himself from ending this way too quickly. And the way he saw Sebastian straining to squeeze his own base of his cock told him they were in the same boat.

“Shhhh, easy sweet boy, I’ve got you,” Chris rasped as he held on another moment before starting to move. He’d made love before, he’d been in love before, but _this. This was different._

Gripping Sebastian’s hip tightly, he used it for leverage as he moved against him. He pulled out slow, until the notch of his cock was about to slip past the tight rim of muscle, stretched him just the right side of almost too much and then slid back home long and slow.

“Feel so incredible around me, so tight for me,” Chris began into the man’s ear, kissing the tender, red skin. “Love this body, love this ass,” He murmured, unaware truly of what he was saying as he lost himself to the motions, to just feeling and being with the man he…

“You do?”

Sebastian’s voice was strained and laced with emotions as he turned his head, eyes shining in the moonlight that flooded them through the windows.

He looked so beautiful in that moment, face riddled with pleasure, eyes so wildly innocent, body covered in sweat and warmth that Chris couldn’t stop himself. Damn him and his inability to think straight around one Sebastian Stan. “Yes, I do, baby boy,” he told him while leaning down to kiss him unhurriedly.

Sebastian blossomed into his lips. Chris could feel every inch of the man come alive. And then it truly felt like they were making love. Where one ended, the other began. Chris stayed buried within him, giving him friction and mercilessly kissing him as he murmured sweet words of praise, s _o good to me sweet boy, god you’re going to be the death of me, I’m going to make you come so hard, you’ve been so good, baby boy._

The bed ached and groaned beneath them as Chris started to pick of the pace, the need for release catching up on them both. Sebastian’s whines grew louder, his pleads for more grew wildly desperate, “Chris...please...I’m so close, I need to—“

“Shh, no you don’t, baby boy. Not yet. Wait for me. Wait until I fill you up. Then you can come, only then,” Chris was unforgiving in his instructions but he knew Sebastian needed it. There was something in the directions, in the praise that Sebastian needed and that gave Chris the control he craved. It let him push Sebastian to the brink, but in the hands of someone he trusted.

Trust. He’d almost broken that with his behavior this week.

Somehow he’d gotten lucky enough to get this chance again. And while he wasn’t ready to take the next step, maybe he was ready to stop denying himself what he wanted. Which was the man currently doing his very best to not let go without Chris.

Chris’ rhythm grew erratic and his cock was buried so deep within Sebastian on the last thrust he had to wonder if he’d hurt him with the way he keened and cried out. With an arm now wrapped around the man, his hand on his cock and his leg lifted over Sebastian’s, his entire body wrapped around the man who held his heart, his hips stuttered. He lost it. “Now baby, now! Come for me, Seb,” Chris demanded through clenched teeth as pumped Sebastian quickly, just the way he knew he’d respond. Sebastian grew rigid against him and cried out, jaw dropping and body shaking as he covered the bed and Chris’ hand in streams of white. Chris pumped him as he pumped himself inside Sebastian, long shuddering groans filling the air as they finished their intense journey together. Chris held Sebastian tightly as they tried to catch their breath.

He didn’t dare move, didn’t dare break the moment as the full realization of what they’d done flooded him. He buried his face in Sebastian’s hair and tried to steady himself.

Sebastian lay quietly, too trying to catch his breath as he held onto Chris tightly. They were both warm and sweaty, the ceiling fan above blowing cooler air over their heated skin. Sebastian shivered a little and it was the only thing that brought Chris back from the internal spiral lily narrative he was subjecting himself to.

“Cold baby?” He murmured as he gently slipped out of Sebastian, both men groaning low with the separation. Sebastian cleared his throat and turned a little, nodding.

“Yeah..can I..?” He reached for the blankets and Chris was quick to move and cover his lover.

“Yeah, course. Let me get you a towel too,” he pressed a kiss to Sebastian’s temple and stood. His legs felt shaky and he smiled. Seb always made him weak.

When he returned with a warm cloth and a soft towel, he kissed on Sebastian’s salty skin as he wiped him clean. He cleared the sheets as best he could but he wasn’t worried. He just wanted to be wrapped back around the man again.

Slipping under the covers, Sebastian rolled toward him, pulling him and burying his face against his chest. Chris welcomed the closeness and stroked a hand over Sebastian’s hair, marveling in the soft texture as it was growing out. “You okay?” He asked softly, hoping it told Sebastian how much he cared about his feelings. He really did, despite his idiot tendencies this week.

“Yeah. Just exhausted,” his tone conveyed every meaning of that word and Chris suspected it was much more than just physical exhaustion.

Sebastian held Chris to him as he contemplated his options. If he called a friend and asked what to do, after this week he knew they’d tell him to leave. To get out while he could. Because if he stayed the night, he’d only grow more emotionally attached and he was already beyond the point of return.

But if he stayed, which was what he wanted to do more than anything, he’d get Chris for a few more hours and maybe even breakfast. He’d get to sleep curled up against him and to use his chest instead of a pillow. Maybe he’d ever get to have him again before they had to part. Maybe, just maybe, he could convince Chris that this was where they were meant to be by his actions, not his words.

Choosing the latter almost immediately, he stayed where he was and hoped Chris would too.

“You wanna stay?” Chris asked quietly, hopeful. Sebastian nodded into his skin.

“May I?”

“Please,” Chris pressed, holding him tighter. “I’m real sorry,” he added and Sebastian felt himself melt with the tone Chris used.

“I know. Me too.”

Chris bummed against him, caressing along his back. “I’m more sorry,” Chris muttered and Sebastian chuckled.

“Dick,” he bantered, yawning.

“Keep that mouth open and you’ll get one,” Chris teased in reply, welcoming the new wave of warm and sleepy laughter from the man in his arms. If it could just stay like this, if they could just stay in this bubble, it would all be okay. Right?

______

Sebastian wasn’t sure how much sleep they got. He was sure he hardly opened his eyes all night but that didn’t mean he’d been sleeping. Not with the way Chris had his face pressed into the mattress one time, on his belly with his cock pinned down as he fucked him hard and mercilessly. Or the next time when he spread his legs and climbed over him, fucking him so deep and so menacingly slowly he had felt tears pool in his closed eyes at how much he wanted to come and how deep he wanted Chris buried and how much he never, ever wanted their bodies to part. He was sure he slept in between their coupling but he wasn’t aware of how much. And honestly if the rest of his life consisted of just this, he’d be absolutely content to live sleep deprived.

When he finally awoke it was to the scent of coffee and something sweet. It wafed into the bedroom through the open door, the sun rising outside the large floor to ceiling windows. Sebastian rolled to his back and ran a hand over his face, trying to gather his wits and assess his sore body. For all the fucking he felt amazing. God he wanted this to be permanent.

Pulling on nothing but his boxers, he pushed himself up with a grin. He wanted to find Chris, made a bet with himself he was shirtless in the kitchen in sweatpants. He practically skipped to the bathroom, relieving himself and using a bit of Chris’ minty toothpaste on his tongue before heading in search of the sensational smells and the man who was responsible for Sebastian having lost his heart, and his mind.

And there he was, just as Sebastian knew he would be. Broad muscular back to him, he was standing over the stove flipping pancakes in those low riding gray sweatpants Sebastian remembered from years ago. His little round ass filled them out perfectly and for a brief moment he wondered what it would be like to be on the giving end of their moments together. He felt the soreness in himself and his smile widened.

Padding quietly up behind Chris, but not quietly enough to scare him, he pressed a few kisses to the man’s back, dragging his lips and scruff along the rigid lines.

Chris turned his head, silly smile on his handsome face as he caught sight of Sebastian in his boxers, pressing himself against him. “Morning, sleepyhead,” Chris greeted, reaching behind him to squeeze Sebastian’s hip.

Sebastian dragged his lips over the bull tattoo on his shoulder and then leaded his chin against it, taking advantage of their similar height, “Good morning,” he replied sweetly, followed by a deep inhale. “Bacon and pancakes? You must be tryin’ to impress someone.”

It was sassy but it made Chris blush. Sebastian drank it in. “Maybe,” he shrugged casually, “a guy I like a lot stayed the night last night. I don’t want him to think I’m some clown who can’t cook. I wanna be a family guy, ya know?”

“A family guy?” Sebastian cocked his head a little curiously, “What if the guy just wanted you for the night? Plans to leave before he eats? Maybe he’s a rush out kinda guy?” Sebastian teased, playing along while also finding himself far too invested to actually be the guy he was referring to.

Chris was silent a moment, as if debating as he gazed down at Sebastian a little too long, “I don’t think he’s that kinda guy,” Chris replied while holding Sebastian’s gaze heavily. Sebastian’s heart skipped and his smile widened so far it actually hurt a little.

“If you burn that bacon he just might be,” Sebastian teased because he didn’t know what else to do and Chris jumped a little, flipping the big pieces of fresh bacon in the pan. Sebastian laughed and moved away to grab a mug from the cabinet, happy to find he still remembered the layout of the kitchen. He poured himself a cup and topped off Chris’, coming to rest beside him by the stove. He blew on the hot coffee and he caught Chris staring. He blushed.

“It’s not burned, don’t worry,” Chris was quick to soothe and Sebastian chuckled.

“I’m not,” he assured the man and leaned forward to press a kiss to his lips without invitation.

Chris gladly accepted though, kissing him back immediately. He tasted like coffee and a hint of mint, and maybe salt, like he’d stolen a piece of the bacon already cooked. It made Sebastian’s heart dance in his chest. This man and his small character traits…

“We gotta stop,” Chris mumbled into his mouth between their lips, “or I am gonna burn this bacon because I’ll be too busy making love to you again over the counter.”

“Maybe on the porch? I bet the sun is just warming up,” Sebastian replied between kisses.

“Mmm you want me neighbors to hear your groan every time I slide my cock inside that ass?” Chris almost growled the words and Seb could feel the half hard length against his hip. It took nothing to get Chris going. If he didn’t have to, he wasn’t leaving this house today.

“Chris, when you talk like that…” Sebastian put his coffee down and wrapped his hand around Chris’ head, pulling him in for a deeper kiss. Chris obliged and moved over in front of Sebastian without parting their lips, pinning him against the counter.

“What? Makes you hard? Makes that little asshole clench because you feel so empty? Need me inside you, sweet boy?” Chris reached between them to cup Sebastian and he hissed into his mouth.

“Umphhhh please don’t tease,” Sebastian begged, pulsing in Chris’ palm. Just as he opened his mouth to beg for more a phone rang, startling them both. They didn’t jump apart but they sighed heavily in unison.

“Fuck...I gotta get that. I’m waiting on my manager for a paperwork,” Chris moved away but Sebastian waved him off with a grin. They’d have their time. It was fine. Chris tossed him the spatula with a “do you mind” glance and Sebastian shook his head, grabbing his coffee and ignoring his hardon.

He turned the stove off and removed the pieces, hearing Chris talking down the hall. He couldn’t hear the exact words but Chris tone was full of annoyance and Sebastian couldn’t help but worry a little. He made them plates to keep himself busy, relocating their coffees and their food to the dining room table. It was long and wood, a farmhouse table Sebastian admired.

Chris came back a few moments later, scrubbing a hand over his face. Sebastian didn’t ask, just waited at the table for Chris to join him. “Sorry about that.”

“All good. I know how it is,” Sebastian replied easily despite his curiosity. Chris seemed to settle down a little, taking s long sip of his coffee and a deep breath.

“Umm...Becky is coming by in an hour,” Chris began. Sebastian chewed a piece of his pancakes with a questioning glance.

“Okay.”

Chris’ gaze was on his plate but he wasn’t eating. Sebastian slowed his chewing. “She’ll be here in an hour with some stuff for me to sign,” when he lifted his eyes Sebastian immediately knew. He rolled his head to the side and met Chris’ eyes.

“You’re asking me to leave.” It was a statement, not a question, and Sebastian could feel the pain start to bloom in his chest.

“I just...she’ll ask questions and I don’t—“

“You’re asking me to leave!” This time it was incredulous and Sebastian was already pushing his chair away from the table with zero regard for the floor.

“Seb, listen—“

“No! You listen!” Sebastian stopped right at Chris’ chair on the other side of the table with a quick point at the man who’d he’d just spent several hours in bed with, “You lied to me all week. I confronted you and you took me to bed, apologizing profusely for being a giant asshole. And now you’re asking me to leave before your manager, who I know, gets here because she’ll ask questions? What kinda questions is she gonna ask, Chris? What your cock feels like in my ass? Is that what she’s gonna ask?” Sebastian was beyond angry as his volume grew. Chris sucked in a breath and looked like he couldn’t find an argument in him.

“Sebastian, I know what I did and I said I was sorry and I didn’t use you last night, if that’s what you’re insinuating. We made love,” Chris feebly argued, eyes wide and panicked.

“We did. And now you’re hiding me from the world. Again.” Sebastian started for the bedroom to gather his things, breakfast forgotten.

“Sebastian, please wait. I lo—“ Chris cut himself off abruptly and Sebastian stopped, waiting frantically to see if Chris actually finished that sentence.

“You what?” He snapped back, turning half way to glare across the space between them. Chris sat, expression pained and defeated. He opened his mouth a few times and shut it every single one. Sebastian was done. Chris was a coward. “I’m leaving.”

Chris didn’t say another word as Sebastian gathered his things, he didn’t even bother to chase him to the door or show him out. The door slammed behind him as he called a ride, determined to walk as far and as quickly away until someone could get to him. He couldn’t stay, not for another minute. If Chris was going to be ashamed of him, afraid to show what they had, afraid to even have him in the same room as a woman he already knew then he knew exactly where he stood.

And from now on it was far away from Chris.

 

 


End file.
